he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
