So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
