Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
