in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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