we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
