We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
