I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize