I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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