People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
