you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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