never play flip cup with pint glasses
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
