I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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