I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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