awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
