My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
