Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
