doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
