Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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