what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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