I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
