she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Go christen that room with your naked body.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
