You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
