I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
