I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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