I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
