sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize