I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There r osticjed everywhere
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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