Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The air taste purple.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
