If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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