My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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