Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
