So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
