it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
