ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
