I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh god it's open bar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
