Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
