Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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