omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I have aggressive nipples.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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