no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize