My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
