I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
