okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
