apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
