Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
