Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
