is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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