North Korea, Best Korea!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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