I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
