Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We are two peas in an std pod
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
