I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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