we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
