at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
