I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
