Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
