i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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