why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
