He uses pillows to masturbate.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
