You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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