He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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