her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
