Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
