Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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