Nicole vs. Life
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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