It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
