They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
