gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
