You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
